Everything wants you when you want nothing.
Some bits of advice, reflections, and some here-there talks!
I had a conversation with my friend last week that differed from our usual chats. We hadn’t talked in a long time, and while we typically engage in lighthearted discussions about crushes and random topics, this time was unique. A little bit about him: we are online friends. We first connected two or three years ago when he shared his feelings for a girl he loved, and I listened. In return, I opened up about my crush, and over time, we shared quotes and poetry, deepening our friendship. He has a dark aesthetic but also has a bright, sunny side. He has always been supportive, never saying no to me, giving me advice, laughing off my choices, and comforting me when I needed it.. the usual trail of a friendship.
As this year ends, I've noticed many posts reflecting on the past year. I'm happy that I don’t feel pressured to do the same. I'm proud of all the little achievements I've made, even if I haven't reached my big goals yet. I've made many mistakes, but I've also learned a lot from them. People have said that I've changed, and I take that as a compliment because, as humans if we don’t evolve, are we living?
The most important thing is that I accept myself, and I'm proud of that because not everyone can do it. I'm genuinely happy for the successes of those around me. While my friends attend concert nights, I'm focusing on my studies, and that's the life I chose for myself. I won’t blame anyone for my choices. Accepting that timing is true. accepting my behavior. and this has changed me, I won’t say it in a significant manner but while I am writing this I am thinking about it that dude I aced it. similarly, I started using some weights in my workouts and one day I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it but turns out that I did it, and I completed the workout. that’s the progress.
I believe that progress often reveals itself when you least expect it. You notice your growth in unexpected moments, like when you’re sitting quietly and someone suddenly throws you a ball, and you catch it. Accepting that ball is a realization of how far you’ve come, especially considering that you once feared even attempting to catch it. Regardless of the situation, I choose to take the opportunity to catch that ball, and in doing so, I find reassurance in my progress.
There were, of course, many things that didn’t go well, but hey, it’s life. Max said in “2 Broke Girls” that, “You need to chill. You can’t keep freaking out because you’re not where you want to be, whether on vacation or in our business. I mean, it is life.” That advice resonates with me. My friend used to tell me to just chill, and I still have dozens of his texts reminding me to relax. I used to struggle with that, but if you ask me about this year, I can honestly say I am chill. I’m not freaking out, and I believe this attitude will help me in the future.
Peer pressure is something that can transform anyone. When I was in school, I had a girl gang, and that experience did change me. There was pressure to make fun of others, to not consider their viewpoints, to socialize instead of studying, and to roam around aimlessly. I felt the pressure to like a guy and endure teasing, to go out even after school, and to avoid studying math, even during group studies when we would only gossip about teachers and classmates.
I am so happy I changed that school and focused on myself during my 11th and 12th grades. I recognize now how foolish I was with that girl gang, and I would never want to go back. Peer pressure makes people conform and be ordinary; I was afraid to stand out because I wanted them to support me. Now, I’m confident enough to walk alone in college, even if sometimes when my classmates don’t join me. I can sit in lectures by myself without any issues.
Looking back, I realize how detrimental it is to act under peer pressure and how important it is for everyone to experience friendship breakups. Such experiences can transform you in ways nothing else can. Although it feels terrible at first, once you heal, it’s life-changing.
Stop thinking that others should be obsessed with you or that they will compliment you every time you do something. Don’t believe that people will become attached to you just because of certain actions. Please stop this mindset; it’s an outdated way of thinking that belongs to 2019. Everyone knows that it’s not healthy behavior, so avoid it.
I don’t believe that everything needs to happen in one year, nor do I think all the goals you have set should be completed at once. Progress comes little by little; it’s about making consistent efforts and believing that each new day is a fresh opportunity to achieve something. That mindset is enough. Taking action will satisfy you, and working on yourself will lead to personal fulfillment.
The conversation I had with him was incredibly intellectual. For the first time, we chatted as two mature individuals who have truly grown up. Then he wrote something that made me reflect on why I felt satisfied this year and how much acceptance I had for myself. He said, “Everything wants you when you want nothing.” I don’t think I need to elaborate on this line because it is crystal clear: when you desire nothing, good things come your way. However, if you are too desperate for something, it often leads to dissatisfaction.
Not doing something that is beyond your control is a wise choice. You don’t always need to have answers; sometimes it’s okay to let things remain questions for a while. In time, you will discover the answers. Give yourself the love you want to offer others. Treat yourself with kindness, respect your boundaries, and ensure you treat yourself as you would treat your best friend.
Years may come and go, but if you're not happy with yourself and not excited to see yourself in the mirror when you wake up, then what's the point of all the rush?
Recommendation for this week:
Stuff You Should Know podcast -
this podcast has been such fun listening to, I walk and listen to one podcast I laugh (the jokes they crack), and such amazing topics.
wear furry stuff, man. it’s so cold out there🥶
watch this if you’re tired.
That’s all for today. I hope to see you again on Wednesday. Take care of yourself.